Welcome to the What About Jesus? episode guide!

Yes, that's right -- we'll post summaries of each episode of this classic television series brought to you by the good folks at Tobyvision TV.  We've all got our favorite moments from this memorable show, and this feature is intended to bring back those memories -- not only for you, the fans, but also for the cast members and others involved in production.

Each guide installment will feature a plot summary, favorite lines, and reflections from Jesus Himself!   And now ... a brand new episode.  Enjoy!

EPISODE #110:  SCHOOL DAZE

SEGMENT ONE
Jesus D.M. Christ, savior of humanity and upper Manhattan cookie shop owner, was taking inventory one lazy summer afternoon in his store.  He had a little notepad and a pencil behind his ear, and just looked so content.  Unfortnately, this wouldn't last long, because Doubting R. Thomas came bursting in with some bad news.

"Jeez-baby," he said breathlessly.  "I was just going over the New York Rules and Regulations and Protocol for Cookie Shop Owners, and noticed a troublesome clause.  Apparently, in Section IV, Part 7d, it states that in order to legally sell cookies in Manhattan, you have to be a high school graduate."

"But I am a high school graduate," Jesus said warily.

"I'm sorry, Jeez-man," Doubting stammered, "But I'm afraid some state legislators have thoroughly reviewed the Bible, and apparently found an obscure verse in Ephesians which seems to indicate that you are a half credit short of graduation."

"Goddammit!" Jesus exclaimed.   "That verse wasn't meant to be taken literally!"

SEGMENT TWO
The next scene convenes in a dank, poorly lit high school auditorium, where a sophomore year health class is being held.  Jesus, 33, awkwardly takes a seat as all the 15-year-old boys in the class wonder why he's there.  The coach, a gruff, no-nonsense type, quiets everyone down and writes his name on the board.  Jesus watches in horror as he reads the scribbled name -- Coach Satan P. Buchanan.   Doomsday music plays.

The coach/dark one introduces himself and points Jesus out as an adult who needs this half credit in order to graduate.  Everyone laughs.  Jesus sinks a bit in his seat.   As the lesson wears on, Jesus becomes painfully aware that it's about the female reproductive system.  The mean coach begins asking the class questions, and Jesus tries to sink out of sight.  "WHAT....is the clitoris?" Coach Satan says, eyes darting around the class.  "Hmmmm...... Jesus?"   Jesus, startled, looks around and stutters for several seconds before answering, "A sandwich?"  The class erupts in laughter and Coach Satan gives Jesus a demerit.  The laugh track is delighted.

After the class is over, Jesus is called a dork, a square, and several other hurtful things by the young teens.  He just can't fit in.  Looks like it's going to be a long semester for our Messiah!

SEGMENT THREE
Luckily for Jesus, when he arrived at class the next day, a school administrator stopped him and had some happy news:  He didn't have to take the class anymore, and had graduated 16 years ago after all!  Jesus wondered about the confusion, and why suddenly he was off the hook.

"Well," the administrator said, "It turns out we misinterpreted that passage in Ephesians.  We discovered that the verse really means everyone should go out and beat up some gays."

Jesus yelped with joy, clicked his sandals together, and danced out of the school.   He returned to his cookie shop, where he and Doubting R. Thomas had a good laugh about the whole thing over loaves and fishes.

GOLDEN QUOTE
"Dude, you got crucified?  What a lame-o!"
-- sneering teen

REFLECTIONS ON EPISODE #110
"We filmed this in my real-life high school.  It was so weird to go back.   I got so many wedgies in that place.  Ahhh, memories.  The amazing thing is, the disciplinarian from my days there was still employed at the school.  The only difference was, he had become a she, and she now worked as a fluffer for Ron Jeremy during the summer months.  Crazy who you run into in show business."
-- Jesus D.M. Christ

EPISODE CREDITS
PRODUCED BY:  Tobyvision, Inc.
DIRECTED BY:  Dustin Diamond
WRITTEN BY: Toby the Fork (head writer), Jesus D.M. Christ, Erin K. Gleeson, Captain Honeydukes, Jose The Magic Tampon, Norm Mankelstein, Steve Ruiz
CONTRIBUTING WRITER:  Nicky Driscoll
STARRING:  Jesus D.M. Christ as Himself ... Sid Melton as Doubting Thomas III ... Mike Misita as Coach Satan P. Buchanan ... Cato the Elder as school administrator.

Read about Episode #101, The Cookie Shop
Read about Episode #102, Double Your Lepers
Read about Episode #103, To Tell the Tooth
Read about Episode #104, What's Amnesia?
Read about Episode #105, Double Trouble!
Read about Episode #106, The Sharper Image
Read about Episode #107, Jesus vs. The Whammy
Read about Episode #108, Electric Friday
Read about Episode #109, Here Come de Judge

For our What About Jesus? pre-launch interview with the Messiah Himself, click here!