TRANSACTIONS

October 4, 2011

PL
DETROIT TIGERS -- Announced they would not be contracted, since the Purist League is not run by an evil ghoulish man-bitch like Bud Selig.

NEW YORK YANKEES -- Still baffled they didn't win American League.

WNBA
WASHINGTON MYSTICS -- Announced plans to just give up this whole charade.

MISCELLANEOUS
SURVIVOR -- Released fat contestant Patricia.  Reassigned host Jeff Probst to dweeb recovery camp.

LPBA -- Fired bowler Marge Standler due to rumors that she might be straight.